Tuesday, February 01, 2011

The incident.

I was trying to sharpen my face reading skills with hers truly, and it was going pretty well until well, her eyebrows rose, her pupils shrank, her facial muscles tightened and her mouth was a bit open. In short, for a split second she had the expression that is familar to that of a Goldfish staring into a human face through the glass. In shorter terms -Fear.

I guessed right, though still confused as to why she would have the crap scared out of her in a second, when all we were doing was sitting and chatting in a public space, with more than 12-15 inches between us. And there were no insects or rodents. Though I don't know why people find rodents scary.

It was...wait for it....*drumroll*  her mom! Now, I know this is a public forum and hence I'll keep my views to myself...... I've learnt from my mistakes =D

Her Mom : T*** get home. NOW!
Her: What? But WHY?! We're just sitting here for God's sake.
HM (To me) : Beta, what's your name?
Me : Eh? Ujjwal. Nice to meet you, *reaches forward to shake her hand*
HM *Withdraws hand and stands arms akimbo* ( people do that when they feel dominant) You're still here. Go home.
Her: NO.

Then they start yelling at each other over something, I couldn't care less about. I was more amused by the attention other people were giving us.( The chole and chai guys would've probably offered me free snacks and tea if I guaranteed this kind of entertainment for all you know). That's a nice 70s volkswagen golf , I wonder who owns it..why would someone paint it canary yellow.... had I seen that man with the umbrella before?...hmm...why would he be carrying an umbrella in this weather? I wonder if that old man will still sell his HM Contessa if I offer to push back to my place.....All this and I didn't realize the yelling had stopped and her mom was staring( read scowling) at yours truly.

HM:*clears throat* Ujjwal, I would be highly obliged, if you did not meet or talk to T*** from now. Ever. If you want her to do something productive with her life, I am sure you will agree.
Her: Mumma, what is wrong with you!? I can't believe this.
Me: Hey, you know you don't have to yell at her, your mom's saying nothing wrong, give it a rest.
At HM: Yes, absolutely, if that's what you would like and think is best.

Needless to say, her expression changed from embarrassment fear and disgust to the classic WTF?.


Now I have the best excuse not to call her.

"Your mom told me not to" "I told your mom I wouldn't"

Oh and after March, I will practically beg for that Contessa. Pure Indian muscle. I can hear it calling out to me. Whatta beauty.


Disguise said...


Purba said...

Does the Mumma's daughter know that you blog?

Stenny Sam said...

liked the line before "*boing*'...

Anonymous said...

keep writing dude!

stella quale said...

your blog is fun and your girlfriend is haha,very lucky.so r u =)tw

R-A-J said...

And in other news.... :)

Hey Ujjwal,

Pls promote/vote for my blog at this url:




Jessi Haish said...

hahaha umm...wow!!

Priyanka Banerjee said...


Maryam.. said...

I love this post for some weird reasons.

Crazy Diamond said...

lolllllllllllllll !! the pictures in the post HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Anonymous said...

OMG funniest post ever

Splatters Of Ink said...

You made a grammatical error. =P
The 28th line, your dialogue. YOUR* mom's say nothing wrong.

Funny though. =P

UjjwalRaaj said...


Splatters Of Ink said...


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