Tuesday, December 07, 2010

My girlfriend called me a slut.

My girlfriend called me a slut. It's a pleasant change from being called a pricey bitch. But the thing is, I have absolutely no comeback. There's absolutely no comeback to being called these if it's your girlfriend.If I called her these things she'd probably never see me again........but come to think of it , we haven't met properly(And that means more than a few minutes, and more than holding hands while walking down) , in three weeks...so either way....nevermind..... I saw her on friday by accident. I mean I didn't realize it was her...so obviously I was uhm...curios until I realized it was her. Gave me a mini heart attack.It was those times when your 'fight or flight' response center is activated. Especially by the time I got to her face and she gave me the split second eyebrow raise.I was in a fix as to whether she'd realize I was checking her out NOT knowing it was her. I almost expected her to jump on me , dig her claws into my rib cage and hold my neck between her teeth until I was lifeless....literally..no puns intended this time. It was weird...harrowing really.

No she was calling me a slut because(I'm guessing) I'm vocal about people being attractive...and because I tend to use other girls as an escape from what she calls ' real issues'. It's not that I'm not serious about her. It's not that I want to go jump her friends(unless she magically turns bi, and is open minded about you know what..in which case I wouldn't mind much ) I think it's probably because I'm the least romantic person on the planet. I mean all that sappy stuff, you know, flowers, songs, poems letters and things sicken me. They make my digestive lining want to dry up and wish it had never formed..and my gonads commit hara kiri. Romantic comedies aren't boring, but it's like your average porn video. The story is always the same, the plots are repetitive. Essentially it's the same thing being done in different settings....just with different actors..and different roles to play. But yes, when I don't get sleep, can't read , etc, I don't mind switching on a rom com. Works like magic...also 'PS I love you'. I don't know how drunk filmmakers have to be to come up with stuff like that. Gerard Butler is Gerard Butler....from 300...from RocknRolla....from The bounty hunter...and the first part of the Ugly Truth. Talk about emasculation sheesh.

I'm far from what she'd want. I routinely leave my phone on silent, hence miss most of her calls( In my defence she does the same, but she refuses to acknowledge). I don't read text messages until when I'm completely free. That's when I realize that it's too late to reply to most of them. Especially if they contain the words 'urgent', 'pick up' ' fine be that way' ,'fuck off'  'what is your problem' ' you have issues' 'go fuck yourself' 'loser'......all the more if they are typed in upper case letters. I think she'd have increased her T9 dictionary thanks to me. I totally lack emotional depth.(which she refuses to believe, because of certain pieces of crap I have on my blog ironically). I routinely make fun of other couples who celebrate their 'anniversary'. Self improvement for me probably ended in moral science classes in school. In short, I'm an insensitive , cruel nightmare.

Now, I won't talk about her short comings, because well, there aren't many...the ones that are if spoken about would get me killed...or worse make me want to die....literally.. no puns intended this time either.

She openly admits to finding other people attractive.Does it bother me? Yes. A teeny tiny bit. Like when I'm playing Counter Strike and theres a fly on the screen. But I don't make such a big deal out of it. I don't like her talking to a few guys, but I don't make a big deal out of it...I might have mentioned it once...and that was because one of them was openly flirting with her...which reminds me I need to talk to him soon.

I need to find a way to be more sensitive. Now how do I do that?

NOTE : I know this will probably make me very unpopular with the womenfolk. No offence to you people. You're brilliant. Girl power all the way.

Note 2 : It's semi-fictional.

18 comments:

Meher....all out to explore..!! said...

Frankly,you are quite irriatble on that part,coz every girl would want her guy to be a little more sensitive.
How to improve? try studying those very things you mocked in your post.Might work. ;)

Seriously said...

GROW A PAIR!

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Meher : Irritable is an understatement. I'm a very moody and unpredictable person. She's got tonnes of patience that way. I guess I should. Maybe I should open myself more.

@Seriously

Seriously? that's all you have to say darling? I think I know who you are....

Cameron Armstrong said...

being more sensitive is a maturing mindset process. A man will never mature merely because his girlfriend wants him too. A man can only be more sensitive if he truly wants to. I tried being sensitive for my ex and it didn't work because i didn't really care.

Disguise said...

I love sluts. I like how they have fun without worrying about what other people think. Sluts are awesome. Everyone should be slutty, I mean what do you have to lose?

Dandelion said...

Ujjwal, are you sure your not my long lost twin brother? I'm sure i'd remember that!

I'm you. Ditto. Nothing more to say. Like you back again! :D

Seriously said...

NO YOU DON'T.
BUT I MAINTAIN WHAT I SAID.
EVERYONE HERE SEEMS TO BE MIND FUCKED.
DECIDE.
IF YOU CAN BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND- DATE
IF YOU CAN'T - FUCK

DON'T FUCK WITH THE LIVES OF PEOPLE YOU DATE

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Cameron : True that. Guess I have to wait until I want to be sensitive.

@Dishari : Hi5. It's sad they're ostracized. Aah well that's society.

@Dandy : I hope I'm not. I get very awkward around females close to my age when they mention anything about being related to me. I'm a very sick person that way. :P

@Seriously : Look sugarbun, I adore her, she adores me. I'm not wasting my time,neither is she. We're sane individuals who can decide the course of their actions well. If you don't have the capacity to take humor and take something like a blogpost so seriosly, have nothing positive to contribute don't bother. I almost expect you to be heartbroken. Sad. My sympathies. But don't take it out here. You have every right to be anonymous, every right to voice your opinion, but have no right to undermine the opinions of the rest. SO keep the rest out of it. Go get an ice cream Be a good kid, study hard. You'll get over that person don't worry.

Dandelion said...

oh yeas, u r....
but I hav to say it feels as if u'v jus read my mind and stolen all my thoughts about this issue and posted it here.

UjjwalRaaj said...

@dandy: Haha. well I'm sure there's lots to add :)

IcE MaiDeN said...

WOW. You described my guy when you were describing yourself.
Note: Your girl, isn't anything like me :D I'm rather cool with this ridiculously over-rated "lack of sensitivity" :) :P

Cheers,
Annie.

Jeweliot said...

Oh God!! if my boyfriend kept his phone on silent, i'd break it..! put it off na

hahaha this post was really funny. and being a girlfriend of a guy who doesn't answer every call of mine, i do feel bad for your girl..

imagining how frustrating it must be to have her sms-es unanswered for so long!!

"read when i find time" Oh Godddddddddddd Ujjwal!! bad bad bad bad

rofl ---> "Does it bother me? Yes. A teeny tiny bit. Like when I'm playing Counter Strike and theres a fly on the screen. "

Raisa said...

Well first of all i must say it was "LOL" write up... :-)
And coming to rest issues u r suffering....mmmmm,,, this is the problm with every guy on this planet i must say.........How to sort out, just "DISCUSS " with her once(coz girls love to do that ) tht besides all this u still love her nd u r like this only.......
But nyways....i feel bad fr you GF,ur luck she's still with you... :-p !!!

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Ice : Oh she's very cool....almost to the point where even someone like me has noticed! :P

@Jeweliot: I'm trying !! Honest!! :D

@Raisa: I bet talking about it would just make here eyes roll haha.

NOTE: She read this, found it funny. But doesn't like the fact that she's been potrayed as a monster or as someone who should be conciously concerned about me being daft....now she's confused. haha.

UjjwalRaaj said...

her*

Jessi Haish said...

Haha I enjoyed this...but if you're not sensitive how do you enjoy Totally Awesome Boy? Just kidding. Keep up the good posts.

MissTerious♥ said...

now this sounds like a healthy relation.

Love it :P

varun said...

wow
happy people
*touch wood*
always stay together :)