My girlfriend called me a slut.

My girlfriend called me a slut. It's a pleasant change from being called a pricey bitch. But the thing is, I have absolutely no comeback. There's absolutely no comeback to being called these if it's your girlfriend.If I called her these things she'd probably never see me again........but come to think of it , we haven't met properly(And that means more than a few minutes, and more than holding hands while walking down) , in three weeks...so either way....nevermind..... I saw her on friday by accident. I mean I didn't realize it was her...so obviously I was uhm...curios until I realized it was her. Gave me a mini heart attack.It was those times when your 'fight or flight' response center is activated. Especially by the time I got to her face and she gave me the split second eyebrow raise.I was in a fix as to whether she'd realize I was checking her out NOT knowing it was her. I almost expected her to jump on me , dig her claws into my rib cage and hold my neck between her teeth until I was lifeless....literally..no puns intended this time. It was weird...harrowing really.

No she was calling me a slut because(I'm guessing) I'm vocal about people being attractive...and because I tend to use other girls as an escape from what she calls ' real issues'. It's not that I'm not serious about her. It's not that I want to go jump her friends(unless she magically turns bi, and is open minded about you know what..in which case I wouldn't mind much ) I think it's probably because I'm the least romantic person on the planet. I mean all that sappy stuff, you know, flowers, songs, poems letters and things sicken me. They make my digestive lining want to dry up and wish it had never formed..and my gonads commit hara kiri. Romantic comedies aren't boring, but it's like your average porn video. The story is always the same, the plots are repetitive. Essentially it's the same thing being done in different settings....just with different actors..and different roles to play. But yes, when I don't get sleep, can't read , etc, I don't mind switching on a rom com. Works like magic...also 'PS I love you'. I don't know how drunk filmmakers have to be to come up with stuff like that. Gerard Butler is Gerard Butler....from 300...from RocknRolla....from The bounty hunter...and the first part of the Ugly Truth. Talk about emasculation sheesh.

I'm far from what she'd want. I routinely leave my phone on silent, hence miss most of her calls( In my defence she does the same, but she refuses to acknowledge). I don't read text messages until when I'm completely free. That's when I realize that it's too late to reply to most of them. Especially if they contain the words 'urgent', 'pick up' ' fine be that way' ,'fuck off'  'what is your problem' ' you have issues' 'go fuck yourself' 'loser'......all the more if they are typed in upper case letters. I think she'd have increased her T9 dictionary thanks to me. I totally lack emotional depth.(which she refuses to believe, because of certain pieces of crap I have on my blog ironically). I routinely make fun of other couples who celebrate their 'anniversary'. Self improvement for me probably ended in moral science classes in school. In short, I'm an insensitive , cruel nightmare.

Now, I won't talk about her short comings, because well, there aren't many...the ones that are if spoken about would get me killed...or worse make me want to die....literally.. no puns intended this time either.

She openly admits to finding other people attractive.Does it bother me? Yes. A teeny tiny bit. Like when I'm playing Counter Strike and theres a fly on the screen. But I don't make such a big deal out of it. I don't like her talking to a few guys, but I don't make a big deal out of it...I might have mentioned it once...and that was because one of them was openly flirting with her...which reminds me I need to talk to him soon.

I need to find a way to be more sensitive. Now how do I do that?

NOTE : I know this will probably make me very unpopular with the womenfolk. No offence to you people. You're brilliant. Girl power all the way.

Note 2 : It's semi-fictional.