Tuesday, December 07, 2010

This is my december oh yes.

I finally had to wear a sweater today...So...you know.... I didn't get them chills. It's sad really. Another few days of wearing half sleeves and shorts, and my abs would've been back in shape. Well almost every muscle in my body tensing up every now and then. No I don't have fits. It's just the sodding cold.

I don't like winters and never have. There is nothing positive about winters...okay maybe not. But the negatives certainly outweigh the positives. You know one positive? I stop looking like a skinny bitch because of the clothes I have on...but wait whooops, there are more fat people in this country than thin ones. Imagine fat people with more layers clothing. Wow. They must really love it.

My coffee gets colder faster. It's repulsive and an outrage.For a caffeine junkie like me, it's crucial for my coffee to be at a temperature that comes close to charring my tongue.  Apparently it's a cancer risk or something, Like breathing the Delhi air isn't. Which brings me to the next point.

Now I know fog, is nice..it's all fluffy and white and everything.....if you're a three year old kid that is. And I know it looks awesome from indoors. But boy, driving innit is a nightmare. Like a white christmassy nightmare. Oh and wait until it mixes with all the pollution from you know vehicles , okhla industrial area , the farts, the cigarettes,  nada nada and boy is it heavenly. Did you know the smoke from CNG vehicles is carcinogenic ? That's right. Breath in a few years worth and you'll have the same risk of cancer as a chain smoking navy cut patrons. I don't know how people smoke those things.

Apparently some people say that smoking makes you feel warmer. Try and get your head around that one. Cigarettes don't make you warm. Just cause your taking in smoke does not make you warm. It distracts you. Get it into your heads all of you. The only way a cigarette could make one feel warm would be if it were shoved up his or her posterior by yours truly.

I can't get up in the mornings. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. I lay shriveled up like some insect under my sheets hoping to wake up from this nightmare.( Just yesterday I found myself on the beaches of Ko Chang.). Winters are ridiculously unproductive. You come back from work early. Shops close early. Schools may change their timings(Although mine never did. Bloody 13 winters of torture). You don't want to get out much.

Theres no sunlight. Sometime for days. I don't know how people can like that. It just corroborates the fact that people feed on decay. Throw in a bit of gloom, death and pain thorns etc and everyones interested.

It's not only me. It's my dog as well. Maybe it's S.A.D...you know seasonal affective disorder. Everything around this time is always a mess. All I really feel like doing is digging myself a nice hole, taking my stash and crawling in there, waking up only to take a piss and to the needful and go back to sleep again.

My skin and hair are a complete mess. Razor burn makes the summer ones seem like breadknife compared to a saw.


There is nothing positive about winter. Nothing.

Except looking forward to spring. Nothing.

19 comments:

Priyanka Banerjee said...

I TOTALLY agree.
Winters suck.

Meher....all out to explore..!! said...

But then I love being all bundled up in the layers of bed sheets,its so warm.But then I'm talking of mumbai winters,so excuse me on this one. :P

Disguise said...

I hate winters. Though, I read somewhere that if you eat momos during winters you don't gain weight, and as random as that might seem, I can eat momos without any guilt now.

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Priyanka : hi5.

@Meher : You have winters in Mumbai?

@Dishari: Honey, Momos don't make you gain weight. Summer or winter. Eat all you want :)

Purba said...

Winter is my favourite season. This is what Delhi makes livable, tolerable...

There's so much you can do in this season! Exhibitions, theatre, movies! In summers you just sweat and feel miserable.

And CNG smoke being carcinogenic is news to me. Scary thought.

Dandelion said...

I totally disagree with you on this one!

I love winters and I'm so jealous of you right now, i can cum to your place n throw you of your buildings terrace! :D

N dat part about fat people putting on ample layers of clothing? it totally hit a nerve :P :P

dat parts right about fog...but tis only very early in the morning dude...wat do you do so early in the morning? Don't tell me you attend lectures! :P

I'l give you one positive thing about winters: you get to sleep a lot, a hell lot...and for those who got other creative things in mind, well, they're all blissful and warm in their own world of passion! ;]

Lastly, I hate spring. So, I hate you. For now. The feelings may change after your next post. Maybe.

Yeah, yeah...I can hear your mind go "so what. like i care!" :D

Dandelion said...

oh there's a P.S.: there's no sign of winters in Mumbai. EVER.

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Purba

NO. You can go for exhibitions, theater movies etc in summer. It's nice and air conditioned and very comfortable.

In summers you sweat...and can swim!

@Dandy

How can you hate spring of all seasons?! I'm not sure mumbai has a spring....it's the same weather all year round anyway :P

blissful and warm my butt.If I'm thinking what your thinking....then well, lets just say more clothes means more of them to take off. And winter just makes you feel lazier...you see where I'm going...

Greeshma. said...

You stole my post. And every single thought that should have made that post. :|

Anyhoo, wearing sweaters, dreading your bath time and my coffee getting cold are things that I despise.

The only thing that is remotely nice about winters is when the sun shines. It's got a tingly warmth to it. I can sit in my veranda the entire morning and noon in that sun.

Disguise said...

Ujj, I need to TALK TO YOU. I NEED TO.
Just pick up your phone or call me back?

Sanjana M said...

I enjoy reading your stuff.
This post, especially the last line, made me think of PB Shelley's Ode to the West Wind.
"If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"

Check out my new posts when you get the time -
http://marmaladeskies-sanjanamalhotra.blogspot.com/

Oh, and thanks for all your comments on my posts.
Feedback is always welcome.

Nikita said...

I just wrote a post about how much I love the winter season. But then again, I'm probably loving it tooo much because the summer was so unbearable.

And I'm a Mumbaiya too. Don't know how that changes anything, but read that the city you live in does make a difference, so thought I'd mention it! :)

Dandelion said...

yeah, your thoughts are on the right track and mind I ask you how people can be lazy enough to do what we're talking about? it is like a person's basic need right?

n i agree that there's no change in climate in Mumbai...but times are changing and Mumbai is getting colder. This I say when I realise that my butt started freezing when I sat down yesterday on my marble flooring! :P

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Greeshma : Go ahead write. There's always more stuff to hate about winters that has not been talked about! :D

@Sanjana : It's from that poem that I got that line. Timeless that one is..

@Nikita: YES IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE.MUMBAI WINTERS IS LIKE DELHI POST SPRING PRE WINTER. NOT JOKING.

@Dandy : It's a basic need......but uhm...when the need is taken care of and your pretty much satisfied, you can get VERY lazy. Or maybe it's just me. :P

Cold Marble flooring? Really? :P

Dandelion said...

you're right. It's just you! :P

n don't tell me you've never had your butt go numb due to freezing marble floors!!! what kinda floors do u hav at home dude?

subtlescribbler said...

OMG! how can anyone 'hate' such an awesome season and then give 'reasons' too :O

winters bring in beautiful and deep,dark nights when u can sit all curled up in bed and rewind memories

winters bring in late mornings when u can spent a lil more time in bed

winters come with no sweat, no wetness, no stink...just a light mists that can liven up ur mood our soul

and not to 4get,
winters brings hot gulab jamuns and halwas :P
sarah

Essay Tea said...

recent studies show that winter-born people are more depressed than those born in the summer, which would actually explain a lot of ur writing.
i was born in the winter myself, and i hate them like anything. i used to have this theory that people hate the season they were born in, but that got shot to flames when i found a bunch of people who were born in december but love winter. screw em.

Jeweliot said...

c'mon... gaajar ka halwa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

prats said...

Now tht I am in Mumbai I miss Delhi winters. When I lived in Delhi
I hated the winters.