Sunday, December 05, 2010

victory.

THEN :

Him: *Sports day* Dude, you're a fat loser. You can NEVER run. Or do anything that requires you to move. You stick to your stupid mastermind India and the rest of those books that will never really get you anywhere.
I'll chew on my white keds if you  beat me.

Me: sigh

NOW:

Me : *Sports Day-After winning silver in 800 mts, bronze in 200 mts and 100x4 Relay, and silver in 100mts*
CHEW ON IT BITCH. AUR LE B****  KE   LO*# .

Him : *makes weird noises cause he has a shoe being stuffed into his mouth by yours truly* Dude what the fuck?!


THEN:

Them: Dude music isn't your thing. Maybe you should stick to your quizzing.....the know it all that you are.....

Me: But I really like my tabla and my guitar!

Them: Yeah sure, you can like it all you want, if it keeps you happy....just keep it as your hobby...in your room....

Me : *ego wounded seriously*

NOW

Them : Dude can you teach me the guitar/drums/keyboard ?

Me :  No. Not unless you pay me 200 bucks for an hour.

Them : You're charging from friends? You don't even teach. wtf.

Me : Yes. Precisely. Your point?

THEN

Him : I'll chew on my socks the day you get yourself a girlfriend.

Him two : Socks? I'll wear bangles and make up for a day.

Me: *nurses wounded ego*

NOW

Him : Dude how could you dammnit, she's my girlfriend for God's sakes. Where's your dignity man? You've got no self respect.

Me :YOU dumped her...not the other way around..that makes her your ex...and if you were that great a boyfriend she wouldn't have agreed to lunch with me in the first place let alone the rest. And I swear I didn't know. She never told me.

Honest.

Him two : Stay the hell away from her you asshole. If she talks about you one more time, I will beat you so bad you won't recognize yourself.

Me: That's not what she told me last night.  >:D


THEN

Dad: One day when you turn 14 I'll teach you how to drive.

Me: *Eagerly waits to turn 14*

AFTER TURNING 14

Dad: 14 is too young wait until you're 16.

SIX MONTHS BEFORE MY 17TH BIRTHDAY:
(by this time I had learnt to drive courtesy  bade bhaiyya log and a driving school called texla)

Dad : You're never touching the cars. Not until you're 18. Besides you don't know how to drive.

Me: *eagerly waits to be 18 *

NOW

Dad : You're never touching the cars. Not alone. Not until you've got your own.....or you get married. Whichever one is sooner.

Me : *gives up, calls friend who cannot drive* Gaadi Nikalva beh##cho*d, KFC chalten hain.

THEN:

Me : *in the library* SShhhh.......keep it down.

Others: Who's this tard?

NOW:

Me : What's my name?What's my name?WHAT'S MY NAAAME?! oh oh oh  My name is sheilaaaa sheilaa ki jawaaani, I'm to saaaxy for you........

Others: *continue with the song* while we dance around our librarian .

10 comments:

Dandelion said...

you go say "HA, GET THAT LOSER!" on the faces of all the losers with whom you conversed, dude! [if its not hypothetical that is, and ofcourse, not to your dad, or else, forget cars, he'll disconect your internet connection too and mimick you - "HA, M YOUR DAD. YOU LOSE, LOSER!"
hahaha!

UjjwalRaaj said...

Haha, No need. Not anymore... my dad can't disconnect , cause he's using the same connection for work at home.

I added a few while you commented by the way! :P

Meher....all out to explore..!! said...

WE're the new 18 year olds on the block. \m/
And isn't it the ultimate fun,breaking stereotypes.I know.I've been there,done that. :)
cheers..!!

Disguise said...

I am so mad at you, it's not funny.
But keeping the madness aside, I LOVE this post. I somehow...knew most if though =P

Koo said...

Great progress man :D
Except err, on the driving.

Nikita said...

Well, congratulations on the music, the medals and the girl! ;)

Dandelion said...

hahhaha..ur saved then...life without library is like body without its organs :P

librarianwala is best!!!!!!!!!!!!
we hav all the weird ringtones saved for the librarian n the nerd-worshippors who think library is temple! :D

Essay Tea said...

considering that escaping from prison, buying a private island and countship, creating a new identity and hunting down ur nemeses one by one isn't exactly the rage nowadays, this is about as close to the Count of Monte Cristo the 21st century is gonna get.

Jeweliot said...

suchehehehe

i love your "then and now" posts

Jeweliot said...

ok... my heheheheh ate "you're such a dude"

thand lag rahi hai :/