Saturday, December 04, 2010

Then And Now

THEN

Me : Hey listen......uhm...I was wondering if you were free on saturday...you know we could go for a cup of coffee or something....

Her: Oh...uhm....er.... yeah I don't like coffee....

Me: Drinks then? or maybe pizza? 

Her: I think I"m busy on saturday...

Me: Tuesday then? Cause I know you're relatively free on tuesdays.....

Her : uhm...I'll let you know yeah?

Continues until girl makes it very clear that there are more chances of  Bush winning the Nobel Prize than I have chances with her. Rejection changes a person. 

NOW

Me:  Jesus Christ, you've been eating healthy.

Her : *Gives confused and concerned expression withh bits of fear*  Excuse me?

Me:  It's not bad you know,  size zero is a turn off. And I'd rather do a plastic doll.

Her : I'm fat :'(

Me: It's a relative term really. All you need to do is work on your shoulders, and a bit of cardio that's all and you'll have everyone's attention. Right now it's .....almost everyone.

Her : So......are you one of them?

Me: *raises eyebrow*  You............ want me to be? 

Her :Haha oh please. Lets go get something to drink....?.

THEN

Me : *takes a drag of friend's cigarette* That felt good. 

Her: Eww. It's so disgusting. It's bad thing.

Me : Sorry. Won't do it again. So what's your name?

Her :  sh**#*. Can you do me a favor and get me that bowl over there?

Me: Sure. * Fails to make conversation with her again.*


NOW:

Me: *Takes a drag off a friend's cigarette. Asks for a fresh one.* 

Her:  *to my friend who she knows well* - Smoking is a bad habit. It's not very nice.

Me: It's only  bad if it's a habit. 

Her : *amused expression* Haha. True. 

Friend feels left out and goes gets something to eat. 

Me: Can't argue with that now can you?

Female friend : Stop flirting with my friend.

Me: We haven't got to that yet. Introduce us?

Female friend : zzh**## this is Ujjwal, I know him through blah blah blah.. Ujjwal this is -

Me: The most exciting thing that's happened to me this evening. Excuse us? * wink*

Bull's eye.

Lesson learned :  The less approval you seek the less bothered you are about her name. The more action you will get.** More on this later.

Note: **does not apply to those in committed relationships.Assholeness gets you fucked over. Learnt the hard way. Applies to the initial stages of you wanting to score. xP

  

10 comments:

Disguise said...

CALL ME.
Kthx.

Harish said...

point noted..

Joyee Bhattacharya said...

That's really cool! :-D

vineet said...

suprcool multiple like, felt like moving frm 19th 2 21st century, wat a post man

Arjit Srivastava said...

Is not applicable for me. You could have easily told her that her best friend is much more interesting, and she would have been the one taking care of everything. :p

Dandelion said...

the more you ignore a gal the more she'l get attracted to you!
conditions apply: you should look, talk, be interesting enough!

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Disguise : Doing right away.

Thanks Harish, Joey and Vineet
@Ajit: LOL. Absolutely!

@Dandy(yes I will call you that) : I know. What I find amusing is the huge contrast in what women want and....well...what they really want.!

Purba said...

Fool proof method?

Should have done a bulleted list on "How to hook a girl in seven easy steps"

Dandelion said...

oiieee, i love this name! Dandy! Sounds cool....
n u've totally ruined the philosophy behind it :P but hey, m not complaining!

its the conflict between
1] what we really want. our choices!
2] why cant he want me? what's wrong in me? i don't like him, but he should like me! we're narcissist that way! :P

we're way complicated!!! u try going in deeper, u drown! :D

UjjwalRaaj said...

@purba : If it were that easy. We wouldn't have terrorists.....

@dandy : I wouldn't dream of it. Given up long ago.Girls just think to much. And do very little. Guys think less and...well .....do much more.