Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Saudade Mosh Masquerade

This poem was written in parts over three months, I kept writing down the lines as they hit me. Most at social events and parties. The last party I attended inspired me to finish it. I'd love to know the picture that forms in your head when you read this and the story that you see.

Broken crystal stemware bleeding Pinot Noir.
The scent of a moment fleeting,
A distance glimpse in the dark,
A dash of red and turquoise,
The waft of an enticing fragrance floats in the air

A familiar face of a stranger once known
Flashes in the distant darkness.
Searching for words that are lost
In the breath of an instant.

Hundreds making merry into the night
Masks shielding desires unfulfilled
Rampant insecurities that plague them from within.
Like chameleons changing colors
Their slithery skins that shine bright.

They chat, glutton, drink and dance
Making merry all night long
Their escapism betting on
The secret geometry of chance*

Across the room stands the lone satyr
The soldier battered and bruised
Ravaged and unfulfilled.
His gaze the destroyer of fabricated lies
These masks of pretence that they wear
They crumble down and off their faces.

The familiar face of a stranger once known,
Evokes a sense of nostalgia
In a fraction of a moment,
Comes a tumult of emotions
Of joy and anger
Of wrath and guilt
Of  longing and affection

Mosh masquerade**

The satyr's eyes wander and follow
The lecherous monsters that click their tongues
Feasting their eyes on a prospective meal.
To satisfy their lust born hunger
They prowl about, waiting for their chance
Waiting to sink their teeth in.
All for a night’s worth of peaceful slumber.  

The soldier feels compelled to act
To protect it is his duty.
But the thorns of the past still pierce his heart
They remind him that he has played his part
To break or not to break continuity-
And then the moment’s gone.

At the end of a long drawn battle
that lasts in between the seconds
The satyr…. he realizes
He succumbs to the norm
Ashamed as much as he is
He is forced to swallow his pride.

He puts on his mask and bows his head
For some things... are just best left unsaid.


  * This line is inspired by the song "Shape of my heart" by Sting.
 ** A disguise or false outward show; a pretense: a masquerade of humility.
      An involved scheme; a charade.

We are very different people when we are by ourselves. We are very different people when interacting with others face to face.We put on this 'social mask' of pretence that hides who we are, and makes us what who we'd like to be.This added with my interest in psychology has been a constant fascination. 

And a very Happy Birthday to Kanika Kaul . The girl who gave me the tiny push over the edge and now I can take better pictures ...and make the crappy ones look better :D She was humble enough to decline a full fledged blogpost so hoots to her! 


kanika said...

a note? really?

Vikramaditya said...

I love the name X)
The poem's quite cool, you miserable bastard.

Write happy stuff. :*

IcE MaiDeN said...

Reminded me of a poem I had written long back - Masquerade Lovers :)


AS said...

A loner? in a masquerading world? Interesting and thought provoking.

Gayatri V. said...

salute to morbidity! For that's something which we'll always find in the core of our black black hearts, on the trodden boulevard of self discovery, time and again.

This is a beautiful resemblance to what is real, good job!

Splatters Of Ink said...

This, so far, has been one of your best. I can't decide what my favorite lines are. The way you've ended the poem leaves an impact. Brilliant. That's all.

Rudraksh Banerjie said...


Anonymous said...

i definitely can see a club scene while reading the poem

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Kanika : :P

@Piyush : Dude if I could write happy stuff, I'd be a writer for barney and friends. Haha Thanks :D

@Ice Maiden : I'd love to read it, I will now infact :)

@AS: Precisely. Thank you

@Gayatri: Haha Well said! Thanks so much.

@Shivangi: Coming from you, someone who gets what I write, it's a big compliment you've given me! Thank you.!

@Rudy : erm ? :S

@Cameron : Bang on.!

Kaavya said...

Wow Love love loved it. It's very dark and very very nice. I can't write happy stuff either. Keep it up man! I kind of find the lone masquerader hot :P
Keep writing,

Priyanka Banerjee said...

Oh oh oooh. Loved it. The ending, especially!
Dont want to sound like a daft, but could you please elaborate some more on the title? This was the elusive title right? How did you decide on this one?

Meher S B said...

Wow. It was nicely described in few words. Could picture the whole thing in my head, even the pretence. Good work.

nihal said...

This is overflowing with awesomeness. You can express the enigmatic human psych through words with such great finesse :O

Amogh said...

Loved it my friend.. feelings are soo freaking similar...

And the title...Sax...

Plus the artworks were real cool

A job well done...the three months u invested in this piece show in the beauty and elegance of this poem...Loved It!!

Amogh said...

Kudos To You..


Koo said...

This is bloody wonderful!
My favorite was-
"A familiar face of a stranger once known
Flashes in the distant darkness.
Searching for words that are lost
In the breath of an instant."

Dandelion said...

love the title.....
that is what has enveloped us all....
we're all the same...not a single person different...i totally love the last parah of the poem...

ders a lot i want to say here....but i'm not gettin d correct words...:P
i'l hav to go search google dictionary! :P

bani said...

well well well. aren't you amazing, ujjwal?! 'well written' would be an insult. well felt, this one. :)

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Kaavya : .....and you haven't even met him properly....

@Priyanka : It just hit me...couldn't put it in a phrase, so I just put the words together. And then I chose that as the title.

@Amogh, Nihal, Kuhu, Dandy : THANK YOU ALL SOO MUCH! :D

@Bani : I don't know why but seeing your name scares me. It's like I almost expect you to eat me or something. Haha Thanks!

Essay Tea said...

impressive. very impressive.
oh, and this might sound like a retarded question, but i prefer to be cautious and ask rather than remain uncertain and perhaps deluded: ur the satyr, right?

nil said...

"To break or not to break continuity-
And then the moment’s gone" -- My favourite line. The whole poem is beautiful, yes one of your bests. But it was that one line that messed my head up. Cause the feeling's travelled on me so many times.

Soul_Fly said...

One of your better works......

let me be a teeeny weeny bit critical??

When you read each stanza separately they sound real beautiful.....
Read it as a whole poem it seems a bit random...
( dunno If you did that intentionally)
A practiced eye reading the poem can tell that it is not a product of a single Idea...... but multiple ideas over a long period of time.....

UjjwalRaaj said...

@Essay Tea: Thank you. Haha maybe.

@Nilanjana: Thanks. I'm still waiting for the in depth report you promised me.

@Soul_Fly: Thank you so much. I really appreciate criticism. Yes you're right. I felt the same, but then I decided it was about time. Each line was written at od times seperately, and that sures. It's not about being intentional or not....i guess it's just the way it is.

In retrospect I think if I had arranged the stanzas differently it would've been better...or maybe not.

Thank you! :)

Purba said...

Outpourings of a tortured soul?

UjjwalRaaj said...

^haha no, not this time.